Carlo goes beyond the trending “How Hard Did Aging Hit You?” challenge. Here’s a poem he wrote that perfectly encapsulates his feelings on getting older. (Plus an old/new pic for funsies.)

 So everyone’s doing the “How Hard Did Aging Hit You” challenge. Here’s me from 2008 (left) versus me from 2019 (right):

As you can see, my hair has settled down a bit over the course of a decade. I may not be Super Saiyan anymore, but it’s all good. (Just saiyan.) Here’s a poem I wrote that expresses how I feel about getting aging.

on getting older

I hate getting older.
I imagine myself a statue
cracked marble wearing down from touch
or california chrome encrusted with rust
a car you take to the junkyard where firebirds lie
the dragons of another age now petrified.
“look at that old fang sleep!”
the heroes of yore now a jungle gym for the young
who climb over fossils on a monday morn
with their chaperones and iPhones and Pokémon GO
(you don’t care about the art; you just want to go home!)
still, not a sound from these lips of stone
The Thinker¹ becomes The Regret of the old.

I don’t want to be a statue chiseled in the mind
cracked and hollowed out of blood and fire
I break out of this tomb, of this stone cocoon
(where you think you’ll die might just be your womb)
and I am reborn as a bronze pterosaur.
(that’s Rodan² by Rodin³ if you want to keep score.)
I step down and talons crack the courtyard floor.
I spread sculpted wings, but before I’m airborne
I pause and let out a primeval roar.

All at once, dozens of schoolchildren loitering with SpongeBob backpacks drop their phones and start screaming in tinny voices, running out of the museum in the direction of the nearest Pokémon Center.

take that Charizard⁴
or whatever the new fire or flying types are these days
I can’t keep up with you anymore

—

1. A famous bronze sculpture by Auguste Rodin (1902).
2. A giant pteranodon monster of Godzilla lore whose first appearance was on film in 1956.
3. Auguste Rodin (1840-1917) is a French sculptor who is considered the father of modern sculpture.
4. A draconic Pokémon species numbered among the original 150 released in 1996. To date, over 800 species have been released.